I am officially a senior this year. I don’t really feel any different. I don’t feel older or more wise or anything. A lot has changed over the summer but I don’t mind. I got homecoming candidate this year. I am a little nervous about that because if I don’t make top ten it will just be embarrassing for me. Steven and I are no longer dating or really talking anymore. He joined the National Guard and I haven’t heard from him in a while. I think after I found out he was cheating on me I pretty much lost all desire to even try to be civil to him. I feel more like I lost a best friend then a boyfriend. I have justified that he was just a summer fling and that is why we had so much fun. I don’t doubt that he genuinely cared for me but he was young and turned into a man whore pretty quickly. This year is going to be so much better than last year I already know it. Last year was hell and I will not let anything ruin this year for me.
There is a possibility that I might miss Jake a little more than I should. It was a lot easier to get over Jake when we broke up last year because we weren’t around each other. Obviously I think about him from time to time considering we dated for two years. I don’t know why I even care; he isn’t even that nice to me anymore. Plus he is too concerned with all the new girls in his life. I am so glad that I don’t know what he has been doing for the last three months because it would probably make things a lot harder. Besides I have kind of been talking to someone else lately.
One of the perks of being a senior is that you get more privileges. I have been spending my study hall in the auditorium and I get to play the piano. I have been working on a song that helps get life off my mind. Nick has been helping me with it. He dated Jackee for a long time and I can only imagine what she would say if she knew I was even hanging out with him. We are just friends but she would still think there was something more. Misty compares Nick to a God and thinks that nobody deserves him. I feel happy when I am with Nick. I don’t feel like I have to impress anyone and I can just be myself without worrying about what everyone will think of me. I look forward to going over there. It is like a mini vacation from life. Sometimes I don’t even think I even really go over there to work on the song. I have delayed writing the end of it so I could keep going over there. I think I deserve a good friend. Sarah was one of the best friends I ever had ended up being a totally different person then she led me to believe. I really do feel like our whole friendship was a complete lie. She ended up kissing Steven. I think that hurt me more than Steven kissing her. I feel like I always get screwed over in relationships. When is it going to be my turn to be happy?? Anyways, the summer was a blur of so many different emotions and I am so glad it is over.