The car ride home from the hospital was impossibly long. I watched the lines on the side of the road whiz by and contemplated jumping out of the car. I want to scream, I want to cry...or at least wake up from all of this. I just kept looking at my mom wondering how in the world I was going to tell her I was pregnant. She looked so happy listening to music shaking her head and mouthing the words of Dido "Life for Rent." I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to disappoint her so much with two words. "I'm pregnant." I haven't even really convinced myself that it is true let alone think of how I am going to tell her. I don't even want to think about what my dad is going to do or say. The first thing is first, I have to tell Jake. I have rehearsed what I am going to say over and over again, thinking of every possible reaction he could have. Would he hang up the phone and never talk to me again? Would he cry? Would he think I was joking? I don't know if I am ready to tell him yet. I think maybe I should give it a few days. I have to tell someone though, the pressure of this news is weighing on my chest so heavily. I laid in the bathtub for an hour thinking about everything just looking at my stomach. I don't know why I just expected it to look different but it doesn't. Everything looks the same and feels the same but something inside me knows that nothing is the same and it never will be again.
